Drink The Poison Lightly

@ashley_evers inspired afternoon snack for today. Yum!!! #watermelon is my favorite thing about #summer. And people who put salt on fruit are gross. Just sayin’

Oh my how I’ve missed these sleepy cuddles with this little girl. Used to be my favorite part of the day while babysitting. Love my Vivatron.

My poor husband is a sicky boy. He never gets sick, but right now he is miserable. I feel so bad for him, and he wont let me take care of him. He doesn’t know HOW to be sick.

Absolutely Love this little girl. Oh my gosh she is so cute! Spent most of the day playing with Miss Aliyah.

Justice Ryan is turning 2! Well, he turned 2 on Friday, but today is his party! I almost had to miss it because I don’t have a license. :/ But luckily I found a ride with someone. Just rode my bike up to the store to get his present. WATER TOYS! Hooray for summer babies. So excited to see this little man! 

So my shower drain has been clogged for a while. It’s not totally backed up, but the tub fills 3 inches or so while taking a shower. I’ve used liquid plumber and it helped for a day or two. So this time, I got a kind with a snake in it. 

OH MY GOSH. It was the grossest thing I have ever done. I literally wanted to puke. So Much Hair! gross gross gross! 

Giraffe on my pizza box. Thanks Chad at dominos. He’s my favorite so far. The guy said he loves when people ask for stuff like this. One guy asks for Pokemon every time he orders. I’m going to stick to giraffes.(at Domino’s Pizza)

I hate when Zane goes out of town. I know, I know, a week is nothing compared to the two times he was in Iraq and I was here without him. Or the   time he was working in Alaska for 4 months. But a week still sucks. I still miss him. 

He got home yesterday. We caught up on the few shows he watches and had dinner. He went to bed early [as per usual]. 

Even though he’s back to his computer today, I still LOVE having him home. :]

Too many times I have become close with a kid, or a family of kids, while I was babysitting, only to stop, and have them completely disappear from my life. It’s happened more times than I care to think about. 

Yesterday I got to see the most recent kids I’ve babysat. Lydia and Viviann. It’s sad I never see them considering we live in the same apartments. :/ Their mom got offended when I confronted her about things/people in her life while she’s in a custody battle with her ex. I haven’t seen them in a while. 

My sister picked them up yesterday and we went to the park. We went to two parks actually. We played and played played all day. Merry-go-round, swings, slides, basketball, teeter-totter. Then we took them to McDonald’s for lunch/dinner and to play there. They played Zombie tag with some other kids and ate ice cream. they didn’t want to go home yet so we went back to my house. Jumped on [and fell off of] the bed. Ran on [and fell off of] the treadmill. drew on the sidewalks. played with the toys. walked the dogs.

They were go-go-go non-stop from 2 until 8pm. It was wonderfully exhausting. I absolutely love those kids. I miss them everyday.

Lutinant Dan. Ice Cream! (at McDonalds)

I need to say things. Write feelings. Speak words. To anyone, to everyone. To no one. They’re just floating around. Needing me to give them life. To breathe them out and give them meaning. But I don’t know how. I don’t know what they want to be. I don’t know what they mean. They are emotions, memories, I know that much. How do you express them? How do I get these words, these feelings, moments, how do I get them out? 

I can’t quite understand myself these days. There is so much there, so much in me that is just stirring around that I don’t know how to let it out. I hardly know myself anymore, and I am ok with that. I embrace it. I actually enjoy it. Middle of the night knows all my secrets.

Nothing about that big empty bed is calling my name. I don’t sleep when he is gone. When he first went to Iraq I didn’t sleep for a week. He’s not there any more. He’s still in the country, in the state in fact. Different city. But when he’s in a different bed, it feels like he’s in a different world. I never knew I would be so attached to another human being, but I am. I love that man with my whole heart, my whole brain, with my whole life.

Husband took me to #chipotle for “it’s just Sunday” :) I love that man. And next time, no lettuce. (at Chipotle Mexican Grill)

fuckyeahdementia:

Ryan Gosling won’t eat his cereal

[tastefullyoffensive:ryanwmchenry]

Oh gees. Top right and bottom left are great.

(Source: jensensations)

life

(Source: seokim, via highperspace)